Netflix is a wonderful thing that recently brought the Don Cheadle movie Talk to Me to my doorstep. As much as I love and always will love the independent movie store — there just aren’t anymore around where I live. It’s either Blockbuster of Netflix, and for the sake of being a mom who loves being at home with her babe (or at a non-smoking bar watching a Pistons game!), I’m going to choose Netflix. Hey, I love the internet, what can I say.

Talk to Me was a very interesting movie if you know nothing about the radio personality, Petey Greene. I’ve talked about historical accuracy before when I was reviewing the fashion in the Kirsten Dunst film Marie Antoinette. Talk to Me focused on the historical importance of Petey Greene and his role in restoring peace in DC after the riots when Dr. Matin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated. Although he is also known for sharing the mic with Howard Stern, I’m glad they made no mention of that in this film. Also interesting was that it made no mention that he was a father!

You know me and fashion — though 60’s and 70’s retro made a brief recurrence in the fashion world in early spring, the look is getting tired. I’m always a fan of the fro, but the threads can go out the door for me now. I was reading an article in Vogue about Forest Whittaker’s wife, Keisha, and they described her style as beatnik Audrey Hepburn. I think my eye is veering towards that look now — but minus the cropped pants please! There aren’t any floods around here!

I am not embarrassed to admit that I at first Hate Watched the Sex and the City a few years ago, but then I became a fan on the DL, then an out-in-the-open fan — but a self-loathing one.

Hate Watching is an interesting sub-category to “hating” — something even the best of us are guilty of.

What is it with our intrinsic interests in things we loathe? I really want to go in depth about this idea. From hate-dating (dating a person you completely detest!), to hate watching, to even the irony of wearing fashion you hate… it’s a very interesting idea.

I can tell you one thing though: I do not hate crocs and gaucho pants enough to wear them.

It was an unsurprising reaction that I’ve observed in the dating world: someone with a kid gets several points knocked off their Desirability Factor. Even a friend of mine who is a parent now told me about his decision not to ask out a girl in college because he found out she had a kid. Hotness factor? Doesn’t matter. A friend of mine, S, has a crew of hot gal pals — the if the SATC Bible were Nylon and not Vogue. One of her crew is a Jordana Brewster look-a-like and gets second and third glances from the cute little former-hipsters turned Anthem model guys. That is, until they find out she’s a mother.

It happens to be a common reaction. Remember that show on TV, Blind Date? The pop-up video version of reality TV dating? One guy got set up with a mother, and he dumped her as soon as he noticed her “stretch marks” as he viciously told her. “You’ve got kids, I can tell by your stretch marks.” She even wound up trying to tempt him with a topless swim, but he left her out in the pool by herself. “I don’t want to walk into a ready-made family.”

I was talking to one of my good friends about this. “Would you date someone with a kid?” I asked him.

Without hesitation, he answered, “Absolutely. Especially if they are a good parent, because I feel like the qualities that makes them a good parent would translate to the relationship as well.”

I felt that was interesting insight. Though there are definitely good parents who suck at relationships.

Until I had a baby myself, I honestly didn’t think I would ever date someone who had a child. Admittedly, that wasn’t a great mentality. My reasoning was the usual “baby mama drama”. I couldn’t really comprehend how someone who had a child with another person could really be over the person who they had a child with. I always figured it was too strong of a bond and I would come second to that no matter what.

I realize now that isn’t the case. I have a baby now and of course he is my life and love, but I do understand how you can have no sentimental feelings for the other parent. Most pregnancies are unplanned, and sometimes they are with a person you don’t want to be with and you decide to keep the baby. It’s as simple as that.

The days of vintage ripped 80’s band shirts, Cons, and expensive jeans are over. The days of bunchy clothes and silly eye wear are has-been. Fashion is now headed to a more sophisticated approach, and quite honestly, I’m ready for it!

Sure, it was fun for a few years to work the tough bad girl look — leather boots, lots of black, some dirt on your American Apparel poly blend shirt… even leggings made a comeback for a few years. But now things are changing, yet again, and it’s towards a more classy look than we’ve been seeing from my favorites these past years.

A recent issue of Vogue stated it best: It’s more sophisticated, more chic… but the proportions are off. I’m excited to start wearing more tailored items. I really love some of Jamison’s pieces! I wish more was available on the web!

I am looking more and more forward to wearing more tailored fashion with interesting shapes, especially now that I have lost all my baby weight. As much as I love fashion, it can be hard for my wardrobe to keep up with it.

Loving Day is June 12, a day that celebrates interracial marriages. It is named after Mildred Loving, whose marriage to Richard Loving in 1958 caused them to be banned in Virginia as man and wife for 25 years! Their case went to the Supreme Court. After nine years of legal bullshit, the Court found unanimously in their favor. This was in 1967. In 1975, Richard passed away when a drunk driver hit their car. His wife, Mildred Loving, recently passed away.

She issed a statement last year supporting same sex marriage. “I am proud that Richard’s and my name is on a court case that can help reinforce the love, the commitment, the fairness, and the family that so many people, black or white, young or old, gay or straight seek in life. I support the freedom to marry for all. That’s what Loving, and loving, are all about.”

Interracial and multiracial unions definitely are something to celebrate and to support! There is a girl I know who did not want to have a child with someone of a different race than her because she wanted her children to look like her. I found that interesting on many levels, but one being that when she eventually did get married she married a man who was Korean and she is Taiwanese which is not the same race! I think there are still many people who are under the misconception that racism and the stigma against interracial couples are a thing of the past.

Photo courtesy NPR archives.

I believe that it’s brief, but black and gold are making a comeback — together. And I’m not talking about coffee (my best friend Sarah told me that apparently certain people whose classification shall remain nameless like to use the term “black gold” in reference to coffee, but I will tell you that she read it on stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com ).

The other day, my boyfriend’s friend gave him his band’s latest tee. It says “One for the Team” in metallic gold iron-on letters smack dab in the middle of a black canvas of T-shirt. (Not made by American Apparel, unfortunately.) I made fun of him for a moment, until I saw a very similar shirt in Vice Magazine today.

Not that Vice is the fashion Bible for fashion heads. But they do have similar readers as the Nylon crowd, which I sort of am, and I am suspecting that we will see some black and gold blinging out by the sun in the summertime.

American Apparel makes a rare nylon tricot swim suit with gold lame (rhyme that with sashay, not shame!). I’m usually a fan of the bling on white, but maybe I will try the bling on black to match my man. Just put some (fake) bling on the baby and we’ll can go for a walk looking like fancy bumblebees!

I’ve noticed Chanel Iman’s beautiful face in recent issues of Vogue. When reading an article about the Met’s Costume Gala in NY Mag, her eyecatching golden yellow gown caught my eye as a favorite.

I don’t know much about this lady, but I have good vibes about her career. She is biracial and bicultural. Her father is African American and her mother is Korean. She is currently homeschooled. She is a Ford model — just like my good friend. With a name like Chanel Iman, how can you go wrong? It sort of reminds me of Dionne and Cher from Clueless, but her name resounds with classic fashion icons rather than diva has-beens.

While I love some quirk in my fashion, Chanel Iman definitely inspires and reminds me that Vogue is the fashion Bible for a reason.

Tomorrow will be my first Mother’s Day. Today I got to see my own mother and we took her out for Cuban food.

My gift from my mother was a platinum gold diamond ring with pave clusters. It is really beautiful.

Today was also my friend’s birthday and he had a dinner at an Italian chain. It was slightly awkward because I didn’t know that many people and my boyfriend and I were stuck at the end of the table with the baby. It’s always weird being the only people with a baby (especially when the other parents left theirs at home). What’s also very weird is when people ask about my “husband” when I’m not married, because they see I have a son. I used to hate it when heterosexual couples used the term “partner” because it seemed like they were posing and using a label that tried to put them in the same boat as same sex couples who use the term “partner”.

Actually, partner is a very appropriate term and I wish people would just use it more often. I am definitely in a partnership and maintaining the partnership is very important because we are also parents! We will always be partners.

Fashion-wise, today I wound up using my tank top as a diaper on my son because we ran out of diapers.

So, remember a few posts ago I was pining over my identity being a mother who loves fashon and the whole blogsphere involving mom blogs and where do I belong etc etc?  Well, I landed a job writing as a fashion expert.  Meaning, that’s where I will write about that.

 Here, I can write about being a mother who is going to a party for the first time in eight months without having her child in the next room or strapped to her bosom.  That’s right, folks, I helped plan a party at a I-wish-I-was-in-Brooklyn venue with a few fashionable and partially pretentious people (the exceptions being, of course, my friends — because who needs pretenses when we buck to keep it real).

 The big question is WTF do I wear?  I am no longer bound down to shirts that are condusive to breastfeeding and shoes that will not throw my balance off kilter when I throw my babe over my shoulder.  My entire wardrobe is up for the running!  I’m leaning towards a black bra, see through white tank top, a black lame miniskirt, and some bling around my neck that will blind people this way to Sunday.

Since I tend to want to add some quirky with sexy when it comes to my own fashion sense, it can be hard to choose something more “sophisticated” without being a traitor to my particular style. However, I came across Jamison — which is a collective of young NYC based designers. I love their classy and interesting use of lines, how their pieces are edgy and still interview appropriate. Even though I love vintage looks, they are definitely fashion forward.